The princess

The princessWith grace
She glides
And beauty
Falls and flies
From her train
In effortless
Unawares.
The princess
Is crowned
In garland
Of hope with
Bouquet of
Life’s fresh
Fragrance
Held in perfect
Posy poise,
Lightly held
By floating
Fingers, her
Circular arms
Frame form
And receive
Into their bay
Hearts and souls
Lost, now found;
Lost, now loved.
This is she,
The lady born
To bear orphan
Princesses and
Take them home
With brooding
Love under
Flighty Wings
That reach higher
Than high, and
Be the mother
They need and
Now have; in the
Safety of her
Broken heart.

The truth of me

And when I stopped
The arms-length
Distancing of
Shadows in me
And saw the Light which
Threw them,
Then I knew
The truth of me:-
That even the darkness
Cannot hide You,
Or obscure Your love
Eternal, true.
For unconditionally
You find me
In my dark
Condition
And throw Your
Light to cast shadows
Out
By the truth of You
In the truth of me.

Deep calls to deep

From the deep of me
My genesis voice
Calls out to be known,
And in love, enfolded.
In silent roar the Voice
Echoes back from deep
In exultant song of
Everlasting love, enfolding.

“Deep calls to deep
at the roar of your waterfalls;
all your breakers and your waves
have gone over me.”
(Psalm 42:7 ESV)

This year’s resolution: resolved to know nothing

I’m always amazed (and also amused) by the number of people who make new year’s resolutions. More so when Christians make them, because it really doesn’t seem to make sense from the Christian understanding of our own will power that we could actually see them through.
I have no problem with a secular culture making such resolutions, especially one like ours which is so governed by the intellect and the (wrong) belief that we can think our way into improving ourselves. This is an expression of the religion of the irreligious who still have that innate need to reflect, confess, repent and be made new again.

But just because we resolve to do something and make a pseudo-pronouncement on the 1st January doesn’t mean we are any more or less likely to see it through.
I’ve been there! My gym membership card from 2003 still sits there in the same place gathering dust after I resolved to go to the gym 3 times a week to get fit, like when I was 18. I think I managed to go the whole of January, but then the cold and wet – oh and the darkness – got in the way, and well you know how it is…

I find it interesting that Lent this year starts as early as February 13th and is a time when the Church has traditionally entered into a 40-day period of personal reflection, confession and repentance. Perhaps whoever was putting the Christian calendar together had insight into the fact that it will probably only take 6 weeks before our new year’s resolutions fail and we find ourselves repenting again!
(The geeks amongst you will know that the Church calendar actually starts at the beginning of Advent, not 1st January)

Even a cursory reading of the New Testament, and especially Paul’s letters, leads us to the conclusion that we simply don’t have the strength of will to make such determinations and then actually see them through.
Paul sums up much of this when he says,
“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”
(Romans 7:18-19 ESV)

Paul is not alone. In fact he is perhaps better positioned than any of us to actually do what is right. As a “Pharisee of Pharisees” Paul’s life was about rule, discipline, focus and determination. And yet here he’s making it plain: he just can’t do it.

So what should we make of this?
Is it wrong to make a new year’s resolution? No, but it’s not a guarantee of anything either and certainly not a good plan to effect actual change.
Is it right to see what isn’t right in our lives and want to change it? Yes, of course it is, and you don’t need to get ‘super spiritual’ to see it.
A friend of mine told me that he’d decided his new year’s resolution was going to be to lose weight and so he ate as much as possible over Christmas and right up until 31st December before the new regime kicked in!
Losing weight will be a good move for my friend for a number of reasons, most of which are physiological, but his approach points to another area which could do with some help as well. The truth is that he and I both know that his resolution isn’t worth the paper it (isn’t) written on. We even joked about it, and he’s not deluded about that part, so why is he still using this idea of a resolution to try and provide the impetus or trigger to make something happen? A Tuesday in any given year is totally neutral and inert when it comes to affecting our behaviour as a lifestyle change. My friend knows it, I know it and Paul knows it.

So what should we do?
If we really want to change our behaviour then we have to understand our habits. Knowing why we do what we do is the key to understanding how to change what we do. But we don’t need to enter into any kind of psychoanalysis or cognitive behavioural therapy to change many of the things in our lives we might want to change.
We can simply start good habits and stop bad ones. This requires practise, not ‘overnight success’, or ‘lose 200lbs in just 4 days!’, and we have to confront the truth that more often than not we can’t do this on our own.
We need some kind of motivation and support to make these changes.

The basic idea of following Jesus is not to match his footsteps but to mimic him. Mimicking Jesus includes being entirely yourself and not trying to be someone you’re not and at the same time includes patterns of behaving and relating which are good for all of us.
If we look to Jesus and read in the gospels about his life amongst us, his encounters and exchanges, his passion and compassion, his righteousness and peace etc. then we have in him the perfect life coach or personal trainer or spiritual director or whatever it is you think you need to give you that support.
More than that, we have the body of Christ, the Church. Fellowship with other followers of Jesus who are also trying to figure things out, change their behaviour from bad to good, increase in compassion and mercy, worshipping together to put God before all other things etc. is the best ‘club’ we could join to actually help us achieve effective change. Better than a gym or Weightwatchers or counselling.

The Church exists to provide that fellowship for us. It is a safe place for reflecting, confessing, repenting and being renewed (or at least it should be!).
It is within the body of Christ that we can come close to the Master through each other and as the Holy Spirit dwells within and amongst us to bring truth and love.
Jesus has shown us in his death and resurrection that he has the power and the will to effect what he resolves to do. He offers us that same power because he intends that we live the same life.

So if you’re going to make a new year’s resolution this year then make it this one from Paul and a second one from the letter to the Hebrews:
“For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” (1 Corinthians 2:2 NIV) (emphasis mine)

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
(Hebrews 10:25 NIV) (emphasis mine)

Happy new – unresolved – year!

 

The Winter Sun

Winter sun
The winter sun
Struggles to rise,
As lazy dawn still
Wrapt in slumber
Turns over to lie in
A few moments longer.
The sugar dusted
Scene emerges,
As blush-pink sky gives way
To sharp blue.
Indoor warmth deceives
The harsh outdoors,
As defiantly cold as
An Eskimo’s stare.
Air so cold it burns
The cheeks and
Unfeelingly removes
All feeling from ears
And toes.
Yet this freeze frame
Still of suspended animation,
Brittle white,
Allows perceiving of
Colour and form
Which summer’s
Bright flourish hides,
But which presents
For a moment, still,
Under the winter sun.

Winter sun

Silent

Today I have nothing to say.
So I will hold my tongue
And remain silent.
I will not be tempted to
Offer a platitude as empty
As a rattling tin, rusted
From years of neglect.
What can be said that is
Worthy of this moment?
Some moments are simply
Too deep to contain words;
Too heavy for feather-words
That float away on the wind.
Sometimes the obscurity of
Darkness is just the shield we need,
Where definitions diffuse
And answers hide away.
To hang our heads low and weep is
Better bread than much of
What is offered on the table
To feed our hungry souls.
We know we cannot pretend
To really understand, but all
Too often we pretend that we do.
Let there be silence today.
And tomorrow, and tomorrow’s tomorrow.
And if in time we find a word, or words
With Enough gravity to hold them down
Then, maybe then, I will break my silence.

(In response to the Sandy Hook massacre on 14 December 2012)

What on earth have we done to our children?

The following is the manuscript of a speech I gave at a specially arranged meeting in Parliament to consider the findings of 17yr long study of how our society treats its children which have been published in the book “The Big Question: What On Earth Are We Doing To Our Children” available here > http://www.maranathacommunity.org.uk/bookworld-in-a-box.aspx?isbn=9780956571762

In any home, in any corner of this land, our hope is that our children are being looked after.
Our hope is that parents, teachers, health workers, care workers, scout leaders, church leaders and neighbours all have the welfare of our children at heart and consider it a priority and a privilege.

But the truth is that this is tragically not the case.
Hidden from view in the overwhelming statistics of the worst stories of abuse and neglect lies the long tail of an entire generation who have grown up in an atmosphere of abuse and neglect.
They have breathed this toxic air. They have imbued as norms things which to previous generations would have been anathema.
A 17yr old today is confronted with daily images of a world constantly at war.
Images are continually projected onto the screens of their brains about body image, avarice, materialism; all part of the conspiracy of superficiality that helps us look away from what lurks beneath the surface.
We wonder why children today can behave in such appalling ways towards other children. We marvel that children are giving birth to children. We stand back aghast as a child not yet having reached maturity has tallied a string of partners who have used her and abused her, and a tally of abortions to match.
Our children are now criminals, locked up with men whose stories have an eerily similar quality to them. The doors of prisons have become revolving doors, and the stories you hear could be the story for any one of those men, give or take the odd detail.
A new banker class has ransacked our financial future and taken their ill gotten gains offshore whilst a boy who loots a television in the throes of a mass riot goes to prison, their future cut short for one moment’s madness.
The “hoodie” has become synonymous with a pest, like rats are a pest, but wouldn’t you hide in a hood if you were this hated?

We should not be so surprised. Horrified, yes, but surprised, no.
We have sown the wind and we must now reap the whirlwind.

This parliament is called the mother of parliaments, and yet as a mother she has neglected her children.
Whilst MPs fiddled, Croydon burned.
Policymaking lacks the imagination that this younger generation has in spades.
Labels such as ‘scroungers’ and ‘layabouts’ are nailed deep into young men and women who have no prospect of employment; not because the opportunities don’t exist (although this is also true) but because they are not equipped.
We have spoon-fed them television and computer games and then asked them to participate in the ‘real world’, as if they even know what that means.
We have not protected them from media and programming designed to keep them hooked and addicted and then wonder why so many of them end up with other addictions.
We structure their brains around 50 minute stories punctuated with ad breaks and wonder why they can’t concentrate in class for longer than 12 minutes.
Cutting public funding for programmes aimed at fixing this enormous problem has been like cutting off the oxygen supply, and we wonder why young people react so aggressively.

Perhaps our angst and concern for them is a proxy for angst and concern for ourselves. How could we have messed it up so badly for them?
We conveniently put our children and young adults in society’s dock and throw all manner of charges at them, and the tragedy is not that they don’t know their guilt, but that they genuinely don’t understand what it is we are accusing them of.

This is a reflection written following a conversation with a 17yr old, and just listening to her speak from her heart.
“Why blame us? We receive what we are given. If you give us poison, we will drink the poison. If you show us violence, we will act out violence. If you teach us dishonesty, we will learn dishonesty. If you fight and argue over who’s right and wrong, we will be weaned on enmity and it will be in our DNA.”

How should we respond?
What has been learned can be unlearned.
What is taught can be modified and improved.
We can change the atmosphere within which our children are being raised.

How will we get to a new place where children are nurtured, protected and encouraged?
We start now. It starts with us. Each and every one of us.
The hope for our children is the hope we choose to have for ourselves.
The imagination we need to seek out a new future is there, but it needs to be accessed and given space.
The facts are written in this book (The Big Question: What On Earth Are We Doing to Our Children?) and they shout out loud and clear.
But what is written in the next chapter, or the next book… that is up to us.

St Andrew’s Day reflection

The next day again John was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Jesus as he walked by and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following and said to them, “What are you seeking?” And they said to him, “Rabbi” (which means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and you will see.” So they came and saw where he was staying, and they stayed with him that day, for it was about the tenth hour. One of the two who heard John speak and followed Jesus was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother.
John 1:35-40 ESV

I’ve always had a soft spot for Andrew for two reasons: he was one of the first to find Jesus and follow Him, but then he hardly features in the rest of the four gospels. He’s instrumental in introducing Peter to Jesus who features massively in God’s plans for the whole world and yet doesn’t feature much in the stories himself. What a legend!

But there’s another side to this story which also intrigues me, and one which speaks to a kind of situation we can all find ourselves in at different times in our lives.

Andrew was a disciple of John the Baptist which means he followed him, listened to him, learned from him and tried to be like him. He saw in John a man who spoke truth and who was somehow connected to God in a powerful, meaningful and transcendent way. But Andrew wasn’t looking to John alone. He was looking for God. He believed in the prophecies about the Messiah and when John announced that He was coming imminently – indeed that He was already in the world – Andrew must have figured that hanging around John was the best way to find the Messiah.

The most striking thing for me about this passage of scripture is the speed and suddenness of how Andrew drops John to follow Jesus. John says, pointing at Jesus, “there’s the Messiah, right there”, and Andrew turns to look and walks away from John towards Jesus, never to look back or go back. We know that John retained disciples and not all of his disciples dumped him for Jesus. But Andrew did, and we can determine from John’s own words, “I must decrease that He might increase”, that he would have been more than ok with that.

Andrew demonstrates something which is in each one of us. There’s a deep longing for purpose, for direction, for the truth, or on a more mundane and basic level, a search to know, “what do I want, and what is the purpose of my life?”
We seek for the answer to these questions in people we look up to. People we see something of God in, who when they speak, or teach, or by their actions show something of the nature of God. We are drawn to people like that because deep in our beings we are drawn to God.
We can, like Andrew, move from one person to another in the pursuit of satisfying this deep longing, but sometimes we’re drifting from one flickering light in the darkness to another without ever really knowing if we’ve found the light which is the source of all light.
Not all the people we look to for direction are like John either. Some hold us close and don’t send us away in the direction of the true light. They prefer to show you the light as they display it, rather than point you to the Original light.
We can all be like that for each other from time to time too.
John knew better. He’d seen the Original and heard the Father’s voice speak blessing over His Son, and he knew that his own life purpose was to point people to the Original light. The question deep in his own being was settled and he was living out of his life’s purpose.

Andrew was looking for meaning and purpose and only Jesus could reveal this to him. The same is true of us, which is why Jesus’ first words are stunning: “What are you seeking?”
He speaks directly to the heart of Andrew’s quest. He speaks directly to our own hearts.

If you are in that place of searching, looking, yearning for purpose, for direction, for “what should I do with my life?”, then may Andrew inspire us that as we seek, so we will find, and when we find Jesus we will discover that He is more interested in asking us what it is we want than telling us what we want.

May you search your heart and find God there in the deep, and may His ‘deep’ call to your ‘deep’ and bring you into light.
May you know that in the searching and in the following you will find the questions that bring answers, and the purpose that brings others into His light.