Ticking Tocker

I’m ticked off
With my tocker –
Seems the ticking
And the tocking
Ain’t behaving
As they should.
The tick takes the mick
And the tocking?
Well it’s just mocking,
With it’s subnormal
Ejections and infarctions
(Or whatever they call
Those reflex reactions).
Seems that the string
Section sees my baton
Flapping in fortissimo
But the percussionist
Plays the timpani like
His heart isn’t quite in it
(No pun intended, or is it?).
So my ticking tocker’s
Ticking is working, twitching,
But my ticking tocker’s
Tocker is lacking, flopping,
And the tachycardial flapping
Of my tick-tocking valves
Is flopping when it should
Be flapping, and flitting when
It should be flatting
(or is that flat-lining?).
My pacemaker is no
Peacemaker, and anxiety
Won’t help, but wired as
I am to this other ticking
Tocker it would help
If they could find each
Other’s time zone and
Synchronise their beats,
So that my tocker hears
My ticker and responds
With full aplomb, and
The valves do more
Dilating and ejecting
From day one.
Mortal flesh is so
Temperamental with
Its built-in obsolescence
And its best before date
Is behind it, gone,
Yet I know that I am
More than my ticking
Tocker, and my life is
Conducted by a different
Rhythm – more a waltz
Than a two-step –
So when this old ticker
Stops ticking and the
Final tock gives out
I’ll still be here, dancing,
With the new heart
HE gave me long ago
Which doesn’t so much
Tick-tock, but sings
A hymn of life itself,
And if you listen carefully
You’ll hear the song,
“Be still and know
That I AM GOD”
“I have loved you with
An everlasting love”
“Your flesh and your heart
May fail, but I AM the
Strength of your heart
And your portion forever.”

For Allyn, my friend and brother.


I want you to believe something.

Before I tell you what it is I want to tell you why I want you to believe it.

I don’t want you to believe it because I want you to, but because YOU will want to.
I don’t want you to believe it because I wish it was real, but because it IS real.
I don’t want you to believe it because I say it’s true, but because it IS true.
I don’t want you to believe it because I can PROVE it, or that anyone can’t DISPROVE it – that wouldn’t be belief, that would be knowing.
I don’t want you to believe it because your family, your friends, your peers or someone you respect believes it, but because deep down you know it’s right for YOU.
I don’t want you to believe it because it’s simply A truth, but because it’s a BEAUTIFUL truth.

So what is it that I want you to believe?

I want you to believe what you know to be true:
That we have an amazing gift of life, full of opportunities to love and act lovingly and yet we more often choose to act selfishly and hurtfully.
That we sometimes find that when we do our best it simply doesn’t last.
That even when we’re at our best we remain our very worst, because all the bad things we do don’t simply disappear, however much we try and atone for them.

I want you to believe something else which is also true; in fact it’s somehow MORE true.

I want you to believe that although we know we can be good AND bad, hopeful AND despondent, up AND down, loving AND hateful, that ultimately it’s OK.

It’s OK because you’re loved – just as you are – and love always has the power to bring beauty out of ugliness, light out of darkness, hope out of despair.
Love ALWAYS wins.

You’re loved by the same love that holds everything in being.
Whatever idea, name, shape or concept you have for “GOD”, HIS transcendent reality is one which IS love, and which comes to us not as a FORCE of love, but as a loving PERSON.

The love which you are loved by is completely personal and deeply intimate.

This love cannot be measured, or reasoned or even described, but it can be felt, and every one of us has at one time – or many times – felt this love, and it has felt completely personal.

When you see the splash of yellows as Autumn breaks out in the trees.
When you gasp, breathless, looking down on clouds from a mountain summit.
When the sky is on fire with outrageous pinks and oranges as the sun sets again to rise again tomorrow.
When you discover that mathematics is… BEAUTIFUL and how pine cones, triangles, circles and curves all share a universal language of perfect complementarity.
When another human looks into your eyes and tells you – with delight – that they love you.
When you experience that first kiss and your heart is thumping more life out than you knew you had in you.
When your child is born and the emotion is like the final crescendo of a symphony written in the outer cosmos visiting your soul in a momentous surge.
When you hold your dying mother’s hand and reassure her that she can go now.
When you see a child dying in some remote place ‘over there’ and your heart is moved to compassion ‘right here’.
When you look into the depth of your own soul and know that you are more – significantly more – than your skin and bones and even your ‘consciousness’.

This is a love which cannot be described but can be seen at work.
This is a love which cannot be rationalised but which makes perfect sense – sense of itself and sense of everything else as well.
This is a love which comes to each one of us to know and be known – person to person.

This love is from the ONE who IS love and who has created everything IN love and FOR love.
This love is so spacious that it can hold belief and unbelief in perfect tension and not be improved on or reduced by either.
This love is so embracing that you cannot place yourself outside of it however little you may love yourself, or however little others may love you.
This love does not understand labels, or lifestyle choices, or orientations, or belief systems because all it understands is to love anyway.
This love cannot be contained, or owned by anyone, or any one group, or any one religion but is always, perpetually seeking to expand our understanding of what love is and to invite us to love likewise.

This love is not abstract, just as the GOD who is love is not abstract either.
This love has taken on flesh and blood, like you and me, and continues to take on flesh and blood whenever and wherever we receive and express this love.
This love has come into the world but the world has not received it; at least not fully.
This love has come to be like one of us, with all our limitations and all our doubts and fears:
Yeshua of Nazareth, born into poverty in a land under foreign Imperial occupation, into a religion which had truth but knew not the love which sets men free.
Yeshua of Nazareth who healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, reached out to the outcasts and even raised dead people to life, and yet who was put to death because his radical demands to love GOD and to love your neighbour were simply too radical to stomach.
Yeshua of Nazareth who loved his enemies even as they were putting him to death, and who entrusted himself to that universal, transcendent love as he drew his final breath.
Yeshua of Nazareth who didn’t stay dead but resurrected to prove that love IS stronger than death and that life IS more than what we know.
Yeshua of Nazareth who left us so that we might live out the same love for ourselves and follow his way of love.
Yeshua of Nazareth who IS that same GOD who IS love and who is coming back as that same man who walked out of his own tomb to finally redeem all things and all people into an eternal reality of love.
Yeshua of Nazareth who is here, now, every time we help someone in need; every time we feed the hungry; every time we clothe the naked; every time we fight for the cause of the vulnerable and the outcast; every time we forgive and are forgiven; every time we love our enemies and not only those who love us.
Yeshua of Nazareth who today takes on flesh and blood in you and me when we receive and express that same love for which he first came into the world.

I want you to believe that Yeshua is alive today, in you and me, in the love we know and the myriad ways in which we experience it.
I want you to believe that, because it’s love, Yeshua makes no demands of us and will not compel us to anything.
I want you to believe that, because it’s love, you will want to worship, and follow, and love-likewise because that’s the nature of what this love is like and what it can do with a fractured life like ours.

I want you to believe because deep, deeper down, you have always known this love and known this truth.
I want you to believe because belief awakens us to the truth, and opens our eyes to see the light.
I want you to believe because this is good news which makes all the bad news you’ve ever known seem somehow smaller now.
I want you to believe because I have believed and I want you to have what I have, except that what you will have will be entirely yours, as personal as your fingerprints and your DNA.

Just believe and know for yourself what that freedom you didn’t know you were yearning for actually feels like.
Just believe and receive that love which has always been there for you, and always will be.